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For some years now estate agents have been liable in UK law for misrepresentation in their property descriptions. That, however, was never going to stop them.

Here are some of the devious ways estate agents describe property and a translation for us ordinary folk.

The art of turning negatives to positives

Noisy is lively

Run down / great potential

totally unmodernised - charming

Spacious – larger than a cupboard

Bright & spacious – ditto with a window

Studio flat – a cupboard

Period property – more than 10 years old

Purpose built – built as a house

In need of some updating - falling down

Would benefit from some modernisation – ditto

Investment opportunity – condemned

Well presented – recently tidied

Immaculate – recently tidied and cleaned

Good decorative order – recently painted white throughout

Attractive décor – not painted white throughout

Modern style kitchen – if you live in the 1960s

Reception in excess of 13 feet – 13 feet 1 inch

Within walking distance to nearest transport – if you leave home very early

Private rear garden – room to turn around, just

Calming views over the park – with binoculars

Viewing recommended at your earliest convenience to avoid disappointment – please come and look. We’re desperate to sell it!


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